All Praise is to Allah

This is one of those posts where i have just realised something, and i'm so flabbergasted that it drove me to the blog. Alhamdolillah that I was able to see it. Since I have started studying the quranic tafseer and tajweed, I have realised my passion lies in Tajweed. There could be multiple reasons; I am good at it (with the Fadhl of Allah), I'm a mathematical person and Tajweed rules are very scientific much like the Arabic language itself, I have learned that Allah loves beautiful recitation, etc etc. Recently I had been feeling that Im not growing as much as I'd like in the field of recitaion, and I made dua consistently that Allah be pleased with my recitation and that I can take it to the next level. First, I got an opportunity to lead a youth group in tajweed, then I saw a course being offered on facebook and i thought thats my chance! But it was too expensive for me. I had also signed up to volunteer at an Islamic summer camp and today was its first meeting. Part of the course outline was recitation and memorization and it hit me! Allahu Akbar, this is it, my chance to improve. One key thing about tajweed is that it only improves by reciting alot. Imagine, by getting the opportunity to teach children, repeating the ayahs over and over - there's no saying how much I could improve. This just wowed me!
Allah may not give you what you want the way you want it, but you do get that or better in some other way.... its all a matter of perspective.
So today, take out 5 minutes and think of something you wanted and see how Allah has given it to you. Or you could trace back from something you have received, it may be in the shape of a responsibility and not necessarily a favor - but you could work it back to something you had asked for, like i did. As my good friend Winnie would say - fink, fink, fink!

Habitual or Contemplative?

Is your ibadah or dhikr habitual or is it contemplative? This is a question that i ask myself time and again. Also, this is what initially would confuse me because when i'd start a dhikr and if i contemplated everytime, i would 1) not be able to complete the tasbeeh 2) not be able to continue to do it regularly. And Allah likes an act, however small, that is done consistently. I would get all flustered and eventually abandon the practice Aaoozubillah!
If you are facing anything similar and struggling between contemplating over daily adhkar and ibadah and making it a habit; here is something i  did, which may help.
1) Choose one big ibadah or couple of small ones that you want to practice. If you do many together, for sure you will end up doing nothing consistently
2) Be aware of the excellence of the tasbeeh/dhikr/ibadah. Understand the meaning of the verses.
3) Focus on  making it a habit.
4) Once you find istiqamah, move on to contemplation. Because you're so used to the act now, you can afford the luxury of contemplating.
The process isnt written in stone and I go back and forth between steps. Sometimes, i forget the meaning so i revisit that; other times i feel im not contemplating at all and i focus on that.
For eg. Reading Surah Al Kahf on fridays: I am currently in the process of getting into the habit. Alhamdolillah i'm aware of the tafseer but for sure i cannot focus on every lesson each time. So i pick a passage and try and make that the focus of the week.
Ofcourse ibadah will be habitual but i think the key is to find the balance between that and contemplation Insha Allah