Blessing of guidance

I wanted to share a reflection from some recent happenings around me - it’s a reminder to myself and to all my sisters in deen (and brothers too maybe). If you are practicing your deen, working for it, seeking its knowledge, raising you kids according to it, just trying even … then know that you have been chosen by Allah SWT for this guidance. We say in al fatiha every single salah ihdina sirat al mustaqeem – (oh Allah) guide us on the straight path, then if you are struggling for your deen - that is Him guiding you. Do not belittle it, do not take it for granted, do not ever stop trying and asking. If we become complacent of His blessings, He can take them away. Here is the thing about guidance, in whatever shape we have it – no matter how commonplace it seems; it is not. Just because so many people pray salah regularly as you do, does not take away from its significance. Just because so many women around you cover up the way they should, does not make it ordinary. Just because we have been practicing deen for many years doesn’t make it our property to treat however we like. We do these things day in and day out so it’s easy to forget the intention behind it, but we should spend a small part of everyday thanking Allah for it and also renewing our intentions.

A beautiful dua comes in the Qur’an رَبَّنَا لا تُزِغْ قُلُوبَنَا بَعْدَ إِذْ هَدَيْتَنَا وَهَبْ لَنَا مِنْ لَدُنْكَ رَحْمَةً إِنَّكَ اَنْتَ الْوَهَّابُ (Aal Imran :8) Our Lord! Let not our hearts deviate after you have guided us and grant us from yourself mercy. Indeed, you are the Bestower. It teaches us that guidance is a gift and that it can be taken away. Allah wants us to ask this for ourselves. He is our creator and knows how our hearts will deviate. This dua humbles us, because we acknowledge that we do not control/decide anything rather our affairs are in the hands of the Almighty. Allah did not create us to be ordinary and neither should we think our actions to be. Allah commands us to hold on to the “urwatul wuthqa” (most trusted handhold) or to hold tightly to His rope. This entails that when we practice the deen, we do so with passion and vigor – not with nonchalance because if you are hanging off a tall building, you will not be causal about how you hold that rope!

There shall be no compulsion in [acceptance of] the religion. The right course has become clear from the wrong. So whoever disbelieves in Taghut and believes in Allah has grasped the most trustworthy handhold with no break in it. And Allah is Hearing and Knowing. (2:256)

Hearts

The plight of our planet
Breaks our hearts
We are hurt and tired and broken
We are hungry and we are angry
Our tears have all but dried
But its the accusation
That breaks our hearts.
We are kind and genius and beautiful
We are just and we are proud
It takes one explosion to blow it all;
That breaks our hearts.
We are strong and forgiving and resilient
And we will keep standing up for justice
No matter how much
They break our hearts
Al Jabbar, Heal us and make us whole
For its the state of our hearts
That breaks our hearts.

The Call

Large spaces feel tight
My chest is constricted
Its getting harder to breath
Is it time yet to run to the mountains?
Questions and answers and more questions
No one is listening, everyone is talking
There is too much noise here!
Amidst the chaos of my thoughts
I strain to hear, Hayya ‘ala al Falah
Finally, the only sound that makes sense.

The homeschooling me

There are a million and one blogs on all types of big and small ways homeschooling has been beneficial to families! That’s the thing about homeschooling, it’s so personal and customized that each family will have its own method (or lack thereof) and each will find it beneficial in their own way. I have abstained from writing about it thus far because I felt I was way underqualified. I know, I know that goes against the core of the homeschooling principle but it’s early in the game and I’m still getting my feet wet. I have had a chance to settle in a little though and I’ve realized that whether or not we continue to homeschool, I have realized the benefits that it has for my family. 

The opportunity to spend time together at length without the rush of deadlines has allowed my kids and me to make mistakes. That sounds funny as a benefit but just let that sink in – how many of us allow ourselves mistakes? Often we don’t, we expect to pull parenting off without a hitch and ‘when’ we slip up; we are devastated and sometimes over compensate. Sounds familiar? That’s all of us. The difference in the last year and a half has been that I have had the time to really think through things. I don’t have to tell off the kids right away just because soon it will be dinner time and bed time and this and that. I don’t feel the need to remedy it instantly. I can put off the “telling off” till tomorrow; allowing them and myself to really review the mistake. For myself, if I have reacted in an unwarranted manner or something I wish I had done better; the fact that I have them for every hour of the day and the next will surely give me an opportunity to rethink my reaction the next time round. 

Even if the situation doesn’t repeat itself, I will have the time to make up for my monster-mom moment eg an extra smile, 5 minutes more on the computer – yeah im stingy that way! The luxury of time spent together allows for these moments.

Normally, our instinct to yell at the kids comes from (hormones?!) too little time and too much to do. There is homework to finish, some or the other extracurricular to do, perhaps a tuition or two, test to study for and all before bedtime and the next day its starts again – and that’s just their schedule! This lifestyle doesn’t give us much of a chance to let them and ourselves make a mistake because the next day is already charging its way in!

Make no mistake, it’s not a zen-like household – I have miles to go before I achieve my zen but then so do they. The luxury of time I get to spend with them has allowed me to learn that they too want to avoid doing things that upset me; they just need time and space to work it out – sometimes by repeating that mistake!