Blessing of guidance

I wanted to share a reflection from some recent happenings around me - it’s a reminder to myself and to all my sisters in deen (and brothers too maybe). If you are practicing your deen, working for it, seeking its knowledge, raising you kids according to it, just trying even … then know that you have been chosen by Allah SWT for this guidance. We say in al fatiha every single salah ihdina sirat al mustaqeem – (oh Allah) guide us on the straight path, then if you are struggling for your deen - that is Him guiding you. Do not belittle it, do not take it for granted, do not ever stop trying and asking. If we become complacent of His blessings, He can take them away. Here is the thing about guidance, in whatever shape we have it – no matter how commonplace it seems; it is not. Just because so many people pray salah regularly as you do, does not take away from its significance. Just because so many women around you cover up the way they should, does not make it ordinary. Just because we have been practicing deen for many years doesn’t make it our property to treat however we like. We do these things day in and day out so it’s easy to forget the intention behind it, but we should spend a small part of everyday thanking Allah for it and also renewing our intentions.

A beautiful dua comes in the Qur’an رَبَّنَا لا تُزِغْ قُلُوبَنَا بَعْدَ إِذْ هَدَيْتَنَا وَهَبْ لَنَا مِنْ لَدُنْكَ رَحْمَةً إِنَّكَ اَنْتَ الْوَهَّابُ (Aal Imran :8) Our Lord! Let not our hearts deviate after you have guided us and grant us from yourself mercy. Indeed, you are the Bestower. It teaches us that guidance is a gift and that it can be taken away. Allah wants us to ask this for ourselves. He is our creator and knows how our hearts will deviate. This dua humbles us, because we acknowledge that we do not control/decide anything rather our affairs are in the hands of the Almighty. Allah did not create us to be ordinary and neither should we think our actions to be. Allah commands us to hold on to the “urwatul wuthqa” (most trusted handhold) or to hold tightly to His rope. This entails that when we practice the deen, we do so with passion and vigor – not with nonchalance because if you are hanging off a tall building, you will not be causal about how you hold that rope!

There shall be no compulsion in [acceptance of] the religion. The right course has become clear from the wrong. So whoever disbelieves in Taghut and believes in Allah has grasped the most trustworthy handhold with no break in it. And Allah is Hearing and Knowing. (2:256)

Forgiveness - Giving it is getting it!

Forgiveness is one of those things that is easier said than done. As a younger person i believed in the mantra ‘forgive but never forget’. As I grew older (and wiser) I knew it was not possible to truly forgive without forgetting. Understanding this did not mean i was able to forgive – rather i now knew my weakness. I knew that every so often, I am reminded of the wrong I was done and ill-feelings even if not hate, start trickling into my heart.  So i tried blocking the memories and it worked for a while. Till I grew older still *sigh* (and wiser still!) and realised it was not possible to block memories as they make their way into your life and thinking at some point catching you off-guard.

So here is where I am now – dealing with the memories; accepting it as the will of my Creator which in some form were meant to purify me (hopefully they did). Once I came to terms with my past experiences, no longer feeling vulnerable or guilty or vengeful; I was ready to forgive. But the question was why should I? Why should I forgive people who brought about so much pain and misery? Why should i give them the satisfaction of feeling ok about what they did? Maybe if i forgive them, they will never know or pay for what they did? These are all the emotions and questions I go through every now and then.

Then moments of enlightenment like today’s jummah khutba happen. The khateeb talks about forgiveness as a means to leading a content life. If i know one thing about anger, it is that it makes you discontent.  The khateeb tells us that forgiving is not letting go rather it is taking control of the situation. You are incharge of how that relationship (or lack thereof) shapes up. A person who has hurt you deeply will tend to do it again. When you acknowledge your hurt and turn to Allah for solace and forgive for the sake of Allah; you are no longer in a position to be hurt again because you have already taken a higher road – a path that people who wrong you don’t tread.  Forgiving means you free yourself of emotions that do not serve you.

And let not those of virtue among you and wealth swear not to give [aid] to their relatives and the needy and the emigrants for the cause of Allah, and let them pardon and overlook. Would you not like that Allah should forgive you? And Allah is Forgiving and Merciful. [Surah Al Noor Verse 22]

Here is my game plan – I will consciously think about my shortcomings and sins. I will think about how I would like to be standing in front of Allah SWT on the Day of Judgement with those sins and those shortcomings? Will I be able to justify any of it? Then I will think how it would be like to have all those sins forgiven! Everytime I have an ill-feeling creeping up, I will try and do this – I will forgive so that I may be forgiven. Allah knows how much forgiveness I need! It is indeed from Allah’s mercy to even allow us to forgive – just so He can bestow us with His forgiveness in return. Have you heard of a more merciful Lord!

Please make dua for me and for yourself if any of this hit home with you – may Allah clean our hearts and make us of the forgiving and forgiven. Ameen!

And hasten to forgiveness from your Lord and a garden as wide as the heavens and earth, prepared for the righteous. Who spend [in the cause of Allah] during ease and hardship and who restrain anger and who pardon the people - and Allah loves the doers of good;[Surah Aal Imran, verse 133-134]

Beware the peaking!

We all have grand goals (or should!) and we are furiously working towards those. These goals may be short or long term. Most often, however its the short-term goal we work most feverishly toward. These goals are the reasons for our everything. It could be a course we are studying for, a masjid we are helping build, a local project we are pioneering or "hajj" we are saving up for. With all our hard work and lots of dua and above all the will of Allah SWT - our goal is achieved. Its a beautiful moment indeed! And then....

And then Shaytan, who is burning up inside for we have met our objective, is ever ready for revenge. He comes to us almost immediately to instill in us pride and arrogance over our achievement. Suddenly, everybody else seem "less of a muslim". If we beat shaytan from planting this arrogance in us by remembering Allah - he turns to the people around us to make them envious and resentful. Aoozobillah he is a tireless enemy. He is also very strategic. If he cannot overcome us right away - he plays it slow. He makes us think we deserve a "break" - afterall we have been working so hard. A momentary pause is our right!  Shaytan keeps us busy with little things, which make us believe we are still doing "our part" whereas he has taken us away from greater good and busied us in the smaller deeds. He makes us forget zikr of Allah, and we start slacking. Slowly and without us even realizing, we would have abandoned much of the voluntary acts and we are even being tardy of the compulsory! Next thing we know, we are in a rut - wondering how we fell so deep and how to get out.

How do we get out? Right away, start with the daily duas to protect yourself from shaytan and to plead for Allah's help. Keep yourself pure with wudhu and be mindful of timely salah. Fight against the desires of your nafs, even in the smallest things and Allah will help you overcome bigger desires. Do istighfaar, as it is seeking forgiveness that eases all matters bi'iznillah.

But more importantly, beware the peaking!

I have usually noticed brothers and sisters slipping after they have done something extraordinary. Almost as if they have reached the peak of all good deeds. Perhaps, shaytan whispers to them that their job is done. Perhaps, the praise they received has deluded them.

Whether we like it or not, when we achieve something big - peoples eye are on us. They are looking for guidance and inspiration and although we never took that responsibility - it squarely fall upon our shoulders simply because we were given the opportunity to do something and with Allah's help we did it. So when we slack, either people will think its ok for them to slack or they will form a bad opinion about the deen - which are you willing to take upon yourself?

Beat the peak! Do not limit yourselves to one goal - you were created in the best manner and are capable of so much more. Just as you are nearing the end of one project, start thinking what you will do next. Start planning. Make dua to Allah SWT to never let you stop and never let any good deed of yours go to waste due to our own mistakes.

May Allah protect you and me from "peaking" - may we never think its enough till our last breath. Ameen

Hikmah, say what?

If you have learned anything in deen, its to use hikmah (wisdom). The prophet saw also said one who had been blessed with hikmah, had indeed been blessed alot (not verbatim). Its very interesting to note how people perceive hikmah.
One thing is for sure, there is no surefire formula - but the best advice i can give is to think before you speak, curb the enthusiasm. Like actually hold the conversation in your head a couple of times with different options. Not only does it help construct your response, but also kills your anxiety which may result in saying something wrong or in a wrong way.
Another thing is actually drawing from the Quran's advice on calling people to a common ground. So think about your audience, try to think like they do or of things you definitely agree on and then work in your advice there. For eg when explaining someone how they should avoid a life of credit because interest is haram - go for how damaging debt can be or is. Financial strain may be something that person is willing to listen about.
Thirdly have sabr (patience), float an idea you want executed and leave it. Dont push it. Dont justify it or get the other person to agree instantly.
Lastly and most importantly, make dua. I have seen things comes to fruition with dua so blatantly, i still havent gotten over it. Allah azza wajal is the All Mighty without whose will we cant take our next breath. So ask for His pleasure, make dua repetitively, untiringly and with utmost humility.

A side note -This is something that may hone your skills of using hikmah: Observe people and how they respond in certain situations. This will teach you alot about them and people in general. You will learn to gauge when you can and what you can get away with; without much friction.

Daily Zikr: II

The prophet (saw) taught us many duas. Learn a few like the one for going to bed, getting up, entering and exiting the bathroom, eating. If you dont know many of these, make it your aim today to learn atleast one a day. If you have children in the house, recite loudly, Inshallah they will learn and also get it in their practice.

ps: i write duas on little pieces of paper and stick them around the house to read at the appropriate time. For example i have the dua to go outside the house at the door. I almost never forget to read it and that's how i learned it too.