Unmasking

I recently read an article by a Canadian born niqabi (veiled woman) who was responding to a ridiculous claim that women who cover their face are not truly Canadian – as in they don’t live out the Canadian life. Right away I was like woah! Why didn’t I think of writing my Canadian-ness with the niqab.  So here I am – disproving myths about the dead-beat life niqabis supposedly live.

I am not an out-doorsy person – perhaps because I grew up in metropolitan cities with little contact with nature. I do love being in the outdoors, just not the “sleeping in tents” part of it :P. However, living in Canada and raising my children here – I realized I had an excellent opportunity to finally discover this side of Canada and live like a ‘Canadian’.  I am not sure if this is politically correct – considering the vast landscape and cultural diversity found in Canada but oh well for argument sake, lets.

I have been in Canada for over 8 years now and I can guarantee that I have seen and explored more of Ontario than a lot of people who’ve lived their entire lives here and they don’t even wear a niqab.. gasp! The piece of cloth on my face is a personal choice – it represents nothing to the outside world. It is quite personal – yes its my identity because I choose to identify myself as a servant of God. I believe my veil is  a means to be closer to God.  This piece of cloth doesn’t take away anything from my personality. Some may argue that I cannot enjoy the open waters because of my garb or I cant feel the sun on my skin. I understand their “concern”, however for us the garb comes from a deeper place which may look restrictive to the outside world.  It is not my veil that restricts me, rather the prejudice. The reason I will not wear a 2 piece and jump in the pool has to do with my faith and its tenets. I believe the tenets placed by God are in my best interest and hence I choose to abide by them. It may not make sense to the others – it wasn’t meant to. But living in an inclusive society means you give me the benefit of doubt to make my lifestyle choices.

I love the summers like the next Canadian and I love digging my toes in the sand and wearing flip flops. I look forward to BBQs in the backyard and in the outskirts of the Niagara Escarpment. I look forward to camping (not the tent part L ) and frying eggs on my camp stove. I used to like hiking, but I am way too unfit and would rather lounge in the sun. My favorite season is Fall and the looking at the colors of the trees and walks in the crisp air. I love Spring and check out flyers for the cheapest top-soil so I can do over my herb patches. I love watching the kids play in their front yards – my, my they look so grown up after the winters!

I'm a Canadian and a niqabi and instead of thinking how different I look, I would rather think how we are all different; and appreciate how despite our differences we coexist through tolerance and understanding.

Niqabophobia

Whats niqabophobia? Its when you see a person wearing the veil, instant emotions of prejudice rise from within. Despite the woman's confidence and apparent comfort in her appearance, you are sure she has been forced to wear it. Even after speaking with her and thinking for a moment "wow shes quite normal", you instantly want to believe she's forcing her "culture" on you or "we have no place for extremists" or something like that!

If you got it, hear me now - Im done explaining to you that Im not oppressed or forced into submission. I am who I am and as long as I am following the rules as you are; you got no right to look down at me.

Wierd but True! Part 3

So here's another installment in the series of Wierd but True - my adventures with the niqab.

I went to Buffalo, NY for a shopping trip - as its a hop, skip and a jump away from Mississauga. La lalala, im strolling through Marshalls, randomly checking out the collection. I notice a 50+ woman, ogling me but I ignore as im used to being ogled at. She did some more ogling, and then some more till I guess she couldnt take it anymore and she says, "Arent you feeling hot?" she looked way more flustered than I! Very politely I replied "No, I'm not" (thanks for asking?). She walks off, while i was answering but then she comes back for seconds! "You are in the United States now, you dont have to do this (points to niqab) - you are beautiful!" She was actually spewing the "compliment". Very frustrated and caught a little by suprise, as i wasnt expecting her to return so quick I said "Yes, I know I'm beautiful. Thank you very much", as enthusiastically as i could. Obviously she didnt wait for my reply. Apparently, the "empathetic" advice was meant to sound like an insult.
I was fuming! Then I tried to relax myself and all the possible comebacks start coming to my head. Im thankful, atleast i was polite. I kept my cool (albeit on the outside). Allah didnt let me down in my eyes and hopefully in His eyes.
Same day, on the way back we stopped for a bite at Niagara. While sitting outside a shawarma place, a "Muslim" lady tells me " Can i say something?" Oh boy! "Why you have to do this? Its not in Islam. I mean i understand the scarf, but Mohammad (saw) didnt say to so this." Ya Allah! Twice in one day, I was on a roll. I explained, very briefly, how there are MANY reports of how the women dressed and the face veil being a part of that. She didnt want to believe me. "You are torturing yourself like this. Why are you giving your body pain" I said, "I havent been happier or more at peace, since i chose to wear the veil. My body is not getting tortured, nor am I in pain." She shrugged. Wow! People really only listen to what they want to - i could have just said laa dee daa and she wouldnt have known the difference.
Lesson: Always think ahead. I'm a poster for da'wah and i better accept that fact. Choose one of 2 things when answering a question: either invite to Tawheed, or simply show good manners.

Thats it for now folks... watch this space for more Inshallah... i live an exicting life Alhamdolillah!

Why don't you believe us?

When we walk down the streets wearing our "gowns" (abayas) and headscarves and face-veils (niqabs), we face everything from annoyed looks to stares and glares to outright nasty and hurtful comments. Yet, we persevere. We stand with you shoulder to shoulder at the school, doing the same tasks you do. We are behind you in the drive-thru, driving just like you. We struggle to balance matters of the home and outside, just like you.
But our presence insults you; as though we are lower beings. It irks some of you to the point, that you have the gall to tell us to go away. You point fingers at us, whisper about us in your friends ear, roll your eyes at us. Yes we can see and feel all that you throw our way. Yet, we persevere.

Our husbands/fathers and brothers are respectful in our presence, they thank us for the balancing act we perform everyday because they know Allah didnot burden the woman with chores. They credit the righteous upbringing of their children to us. We are incharge of our household and all its decisions, and they wilingly lend us their help. They walk ahead of us, as a show of their love for us so they may face your stares before we do.

Our covering and veil is to please our Lord - Allah! Not because we were forced by our husbands or fathers; but you dont believe our words. We speak our minds, only watchful to not say something to displease Allah. We do not confine ourselves to the standards of society, we are today's woman; but you don't believe our stance and you dont acknowledge our courage.

You oppress us - not our veils!

Wierd but True! Part 2

Canada has a (money-minting) graduated licensing system. So i had to get my "G" license before my G2 expired. I had given my G2 test with a really nice non-muslim MALE instructor. Since then, i have donned the niqab and gained more deeni (religious) perspective; so im feeling nervous about taking lessons without a mahram present. I make lots of dua that this deed doesnt go against me on the day of judegment. The guy comes to pick me, and i figured he wouldn't recognize me from my pre-niqab days. It had been 3 years AND i had moved. But he did! I had climbed down 2 flights of stairs and was very nervous, so i was a little out of breath. This is how he broached the topic. "If you dont mind, please dont mind i just want to tell you that the reason you have difficulty breathing is because you have this (niqab) on your face. Maybe you want to tie it a little lower. please dont mind." At first, I DID mind but then he continued. He is a sikh guy so wears the net around his beard. He said see i tie this (under his chin) and initially I had difficulty too. I was like yeah, ok, whatever. Then he asked me " you didnt use to wear this before, you only covered your head - whats with the change? is it a religious problem?" I was like yes! dawah opportunity. I explained that it was not a problem at all Alhamdolillah and i felt like taking it. So lesson1 ends with pretty much that.
Come time for lesson 2, and the instructor says can i ask you something. Whats one to say to that except go ahead. He asked me how should one pray, if they really want something to get done? I said, you should make dua and then have faith that what will unfold will be better for you. He was like no but this thing really needs to happen - like it cant not happen. He explained the situation to me. My answer was still the same. In my head though i was thinking how to gear this towards Tawheed. So, i told him if you are so hell-bent that it has to happen this way - why dont you go make it happen. Can you? he's like no. I said, so the fact that you need to ask God to help you - means He has some power that you dont? he's like yeah. Then i said you need to understand who Rabb is. You need to have faith in the one you are bowing down to. He is only one who can grant you anything, or take it away from you. I stressed the oneness a bit more. He wasnt fully convinced, i could tell. He almost had expected me to pull out a piece of paper he could tie somewhere, for his wish to be granted. When i said all he needed for faith, that seemed too simple.
Sadly thats the case with most of the ummah now. They simply dont believe in prayer. How much more hypocritical could you get if you are bowing to Allah and actually depending on people or chances?
Anyway, my deduction was that my niqab gave him the impression that i was a religious person and i have some magical answers. He must really have been desperate to ask a person of a different faith! I tried to tie his faith with tawheed as best i could. May Allah guide him.
ps: for those who dont know, he understands the word rabb and dua - since they exist in his language.

Wierd but True! Part 1

So this is part 1 in a series about my experiences with the niqab that are Wierd but true :) and above all could be loosely classified as da'wah.
I goto the bank to deposit a cheque (check for you Americans!). I hand in my driver's license for identification and the teller tells me oh you're so beautiful, is that why you cover your face? Im caught between feeling embarassed and puzzled as how to quickly answer this bizarre question. I laugh it off nervously. She tells me, all Muslims dont wear this - why is that? Oh my God, did she just ask me a fiqh question?? So, i politely say its a matter of personal choice and i like to do this (pointing to my face). Refer to my note about pre-thinking situations so you arent caught off-guard. I definitely was! (http://mariam-jannahseeker.blogspot.com/2011/10/walking-dawah-machine.html)
I exit the bank wondering, should i feel flattered that she complimented me? Ummmmm, a question that was to be answered in the coming months as i was to soon find out people LOVE telling you that you are beautiful as a way to compensate for the "oppression". And what a sexist remark to make anyway - ok so its either that im sooo beautiful that i feel the need to cover or that i'm sooooo unattractive that the world cannot bear to see me! Do these people not hear themselves? Ugh! disappointed in the standards the world has set to judge by appearances!

Wierd but True...watch this space for more.

The walking dawah-machine

Since I have worn the niqab, I have gotten more questions in one year than I did in 7+ years of wearing just the hijab.  There are one of two reasons people will question you, they are genuinely curious (rare) or they want to prove you are wrong/oppressed. Needless to say I have come across the latter more often. As aggravating as it is, I realized Allah SWT is fulfilling my very wish – I wanted to do dawah and now I get to dispense information about my deen and who knows who Allah will guide and I would have served as in instrument. 

An important thing to do is pre-think certain scenarios and the kinds of questions you could be asked. This is applicable to hijabis too, however having been on both sides of the spectrum;  I faced frequent and tougher critics after the niqab. I have learned it the hard way, and Alhamdolillah I walked away unscathed but there was definitely chance of some serious damage.  If I am going to be at the doctors where I have one-on-one time with doctor/nurse/assistant/technician; chances of being asked something are higher.  I strategize.  One very important point is that you will probably have 15 seconds to justify your point of view/ answer the question. Don’t go into details of hadith and sunnah – words which will mean nothing to a non-muslim. I was randomly asked at a breakfast place by the cook behind the counter:  How come you are wearing this (pointing to my niqab) and your friend is only covering her head? Yeah, I know! How do you answer that in 2 seconds? I did the best I could, I wish I was better prepared.

There is great deal of unawareness among the muslims today. I may be speaking of born-muslims only, though. Muslims are unaware of their impact or the light they carry. They are careless of it. It’s time to change and live like the ummah was meant to… with enlightenment, awareness, contemplation, conviction and honesty.

Alhamdolillah, my niqab has turned me into a walking dawah-machine and I love it, for the sake of Allah ofcourse.