Stranger

From Abu Hurairah RA, he said: Rasulullah SAW said: "Islam was strange when it began and will one day be strange again; Blessed are the ghuraba' (those strange people)". [H.R.Muslim]

I hadn't really thought about the meaning of this hadith, SubhanAllah. I meant to find out what  "ghuraba" meant, but shaytaan got the better of me i suppose. However, in the last year or so, i have been feeling disconnected with my environment; with people i have known for ages - sometimes, i feel i have no one who I can talk to. This is not a constant feeling, it comes and goes. But when I'm focusing and contemplating about intentions, actions and assessing relationships - i feel alone. I'm afraid of expressing my thoughts for I may come off too rigid and I, myself don't fulfill my own standards. Then a couple of nights ago, while feeling this loneliness - it hit me. Its like, to other people, I'm a strange being now - that's what "ghuraba" means! I'm not claiming that I've reached some elevated status in my actions- not in the least because Allah knows my faults and sins. I suppose though, this feeling of being out of place is what the hadith refers to. This strangeness stems from being in an environment so far away from the principles of deen that anyone remotely on it; seems alien. This comforted me in a way, as i don't fear the feeling anymore. Also i recently read that an intelligent person is he who can change his own nature and thinking and through using his skills and perseverance, influence the thinking of others. That's a very high bar for me to reach but I definitely intend to try. 

Every soul shall taste death

Death is on my mind these days! How can it not be?? The massacre in Syria and Palestine, the recent plane crash in Pakistan just weeks after 135 brave soldiers were buried under snow and just generally death seems to be around me, so I've got death on my mind. I have been thinking about my state when my time comes. I recently read about a brother who has been through a major surgery and as soon as he came to; he said his shahadah and kept repeating it through semi-consciousness all while he was still in the ICU. I read about a sister, who was in the throws of death - screaming with pain and passing out due to its intensity but as soon as the doctor came she asked for her hijab. I read about a sister, who bore extreme pain of chemotherapy for months on end but never gave up hope. I recently found out my paternal grandfather (who passed away when i was 4) never gave up prayers even right after he had  been operated on for a tumor. My uncle is in a coma right now, doctors say his brain is too damaged to ever fully recover but our hope is in someone greater than medical science. One time my aunt saw his arm moving, when she removed his covers he had his fist made like he was in tashahud. He was never known to miss his prayers.
I read how Prophet Ibrahim AS made dua for himself to be remembered by people in a good way. Allah not only fulfilled his dua but made his acts a legacy for all Muslims to follow - SubhanAllah. So I pray death comes to me in the best state of my Iman, I pray when it comes I have the Kalimah on my lips and when Allah takes me; He is pleased with me. I am still thinking about how Id like to be remembered - I hope as someone who made a difference. May Allah give me the guidance to be of use to His creation and may He accept.

Quality of a Caller (Da'ee)

I have finished reading an excellent book about the qualities a caller to Allah must possess. For each one, I felt either i dont have it at all or it needs serious work. May Allah make it easy for me. The one quality, however, that really stood out was sincerity. It is sincerity or concern for people that will pull them toward you; sooner or later they will realise your words were genuine and hopefully that will bring about a change in them. While spreading the message of Allah, the most common stumbling stone for me is loss of this sincerity and coming off too pious. Although that has never been my intention and nor do I lose concern entirely; but if my behavior and words do not communicate my intention correctly, then whats the point really. I also feel its tough to "like" everyone, to the extent that you care about their akhirah and sometimes you care so much that you're shoving the deen down their throats. Ofcourse we shouldnt do that. Sometimes i loose sight of my purpose; sometimes it becomes about trying to change them - whereas that is needed too but i have learned that if i just keep the concern alive; the rest will work out bi izn Allah. Now that i have pinpointed my error, I must work on correcting it and thats a daunting task. Im so afraid of my words that I feel I may never be able to speak again, but thats Shaytan trying to stop me and I must fight it. May Allah put love in my heart for His people.

Qarun Lives....

First let me introduce you to Qarun, as in the Quran. He was a learned scholar, from the Bani Isarel and had been blessed with immense wealth of the world. I just read his story (Surah Al-Qasas) and was forced to admit that although Allah destroyed the real Qarun long ago ... his disciples exist in each one of us. He is living through us. Allow me to elaborate.

Qarun was a Muslim, as he came from the people of Musa AS and was even related to the prophet. He was a haafidh of the Torah, had been blessed with a lot of knowldege obviously; but along with that he had been given wealth of the world, so much so that it would burden big, strong men to carry just the keys to his treasure. He should have been the most grateful one around for having been given the best of both Ilm and Dunya... yet he was the most arrogant. He accredited himself for his wealth, he didnt deny it came from Allah BUT he said he deserved it. He was so close in behavior and status to the Pharoahs - they made him one of them! Can you imagine? The Bani Israel were a slave tribe and to be made a courtsman? He should have been lenient with the Bani Israel, given his authority.... yet he was the harshest on them. He refused to give zakat and did not spend on the people. He walked the earth with arrogance and pride and the same earth was commanded to eat him whole along with his wealth.

Today we, Muslims, when we are very educated or our kids manage to shine in universities or we are wealthy or even when we have ilm of the Quran - we attribute it to ourselves. Oh! we worked so hard with our kids, or our kids worked so hard for this. We say it about other people too Oh! they were so good with their finances and made all the right decisions, etc etc. All of us have had that attitude one time or another - it was ME, I did it. Wallahi you didnt! Had it not been Allah's will, you would not have anything despite making all the seemingly right choices. Crediting ourselves with our successes leads to us becoming arrogant. We may not become arrogant right away, but as people start to praise us and place on pedestals for our worldly standing; we start thinking we deserve that status. This arrogance eats away at our 'ikhlaq' like a termite and soon we are too good for our own families, our own people. We avoid meeting them too often, sometimes even say hurtful things about them. This is not true just of wealth, even those with "ilm" look down on their relatives not so endowed. We walk the earth with pride, very satified with our status.

Now if you are thinking that you arent THAT wealthy, so you're ok.... Alhamdolillah for what we have but take a look at your closets. Isnt it burdened with the treasure it holds, similar to the forces who carried Qarun's keys? Dont we have bank accounts in like 3 or 4 banks, isnt our wallet bent out of shape with the cards it carries. Dont our refrigerators and pantries boil over with food. Doesnt our heart pinch when it comes time to pay zakat or give in sadaqa? Dont we think we deserve the lifestyles we have or even our health? We have been blessed with Iman and wealth of the world - how thankful are we? Sadly, I was reminded of "us" when i read about Qarun.
So beware! Strive to be a Sulaymaan rather than a Qarun, Insha Allah.

Humanity & Religion

All too often Ive been reading about humanity being above religion or that being a good person doesn't depend on religion, etc etc and I'm stumped! How can a Muslim make/agree with these statements. If one does, then it can be said they are not aware of the tenets of Islam. The majority of our deen is based on principles of humanity and justice and standing up for whats right even if that means going against your brother. Also maybe people aren't aware of the meaning of humanity. Here is what Wikipedia says:

The virtue, humanity, is a set of strengths focused on “tending and befriending others.”The three strengths associated with humanity are love, kindness, and social intelligence. Humanity differs from justice in that there is a level of altruism towards individuals included in humanity more so than the fairness found in justice.That is, humanity, and the acts of love, altruism, and social intelligence are typically person to person strengths while fairness is generally expanded to all.

So actually humanity is an incomplete concept as far as our deen is concerned and Islam actually goes one step ahead of this virtue to establish and serve justice. Allahu Akbar. A Muslim cannot be separated from his deen in any sphere of his life and hence claiming that humanity is above religion actually puts you in a very dangerous spot as a believer. The Lord who created us, chose this way of life for us and in it you will find such whole principles of community that empty statements like the above wont hold any water.

Ok. Rant over!

Habitual or Contemplative?

Is your ibadah or dhikr habitual or is it contemplative? This is a question that i ask myself time and again. Also, this is what initially would confuse me because when i'd start a dhikr and if i contemplated everytime, i would 1) not be able to complete the tasbeeh 2) not be able to continue to do it regularly. And Allah likes an act, however small, that is done consistently. I would get all flustered and eventually abandon the practice Aaoozubillah!
If you are facing anything similar and struggling between contemplating over daily adhkar and ibadah and making it a habit; here is something i  did, which may help.
1) Choose one big ibadah or couple of small ones that you want to practice. If you do many together, for sure you will end up doing nothing consistently
2) Be aware of the excellence of the tasbeeh/dhikr/ibadah. Understand the meaning of the verses.
3) Focus on  making it a habit.
4) Once you find istiqamah, move on to contemplation. Because you're so used to the act now, you can afford the luxury of contemplating.
The process isnt written in stone and I go back and forth between steps. Sometimes, i forget the meaning so i revisit that; other times i feel im not contemplating at all and i focus on that.
For eg. Reading Surah Al Kahf on fridays: I am currently in the process of getting into the habit. Alhamdolillah i'm aware of the tafseer but for sure i cannot focus on every lesson each time. So i pick a passage and try and make that the focus of the week.
Ofcourse ibadah will be habitual but i think the key is to find the balance between that and contemplation Insha Allah

The Beauty of Quran

Yesterday, my friend spoke about ayah 102 of Surah Aal Imran.

O you who believe! Fear Allâh (by doing all that He has ordered and by abstaining from all that He has forbidden) as He should be feared. [Obey Him, be thankful to Him, and remember Him always], and die not except in a state of Islâm (as Muslims) with complete submission to Allâh

She discussed its tafseer in brief and how it had impacted her life. I was aware of the tafseer because i had studied the ayah many time before and atleast once in detail. But the beauty of the verse struck me this time. I was reminded of the wonder of the Quran, that it reveals new treasures each time its read. SubhanAllah! Now I'm not linguist, nor a literary expert but even I could appreciate the beauty of this address. The  start and end of the ayah is such a contrast, exactly opposite (Iman and Kufr) to one another; and in the middle is the key to staying with Iman. This reminds me of another ayah from Surah Qamar:

And We have indeed made the Qur'an easy to understand and remember: then is there any that will receive admonition? 

The Quran is filled with such beauty, if only we were to take the time out to ponder.Everyday can provide us wondrous moments like these but we rush through; forgetting how this day can be ibadah for us. May Allah give me and you more intellect to ponder upon His greatness! Ameen